The journey starts here
As with most resolutions, mine is beginning at the dawn of a new year.
And what better resolution can one make, than to take better care of one's self? None. If we want to be happy and live a full and vibrant life, we need to put our health first. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
One of my resolutions was to get back into journaling. The other was to take back the control of my body after a physical ailment. It only seemed natural to combine the two and blog about my process. By making my story public, I can not only receive some of the support and encouragement that I need, but perhaps I can inspire others.
My story is very personal and it's not easy to talk about. I haven't told many people about it for that reason. But I'm ready to lay it all on the table for the sake of bettering myself, and holding myself accountable to change.
Over the past year, I discovered (quite by chance) that I suffer from something called Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS. It's not all that rare. In fact it affects about 10% of all women. I just get to be one of the lucky ones.
It's an endocrine disorder which causes a hormonal imbalance. Many women can live with it and never know. I certainly fell into that category. It's worth researching, but the long and short of it, is that it messes with your body. It can cause infertility, lead to heart disease and plague you with a gambit of symptoms. Some of the lovely ones which I have been privy to include, weight gain, chronic cystic acne, fatigue, mental fog and insulin resistance. Other women also experience excessive hair growth or loss.
I never knew that I had PCOS because I was on birth control for many years. From the ages of 18 to 25, I never lapsed in taking my hormone altering drugs. At 25, when I first stopped, I broke out very badly. It started off innocently enough. I had the occasional pimple, but after about 3 months, I developed huge, painful cysts on my chin. At one point I counted over 40 on my chin alone. I sought the help of doctors and dermatologists. I went on every cream and antibiotic they could feed me. Nothing helped. I got to the point where I didn't want to leave the house. I felt like a freak and I was in constant pain. After about 6 months, I lapsed into a deep and suicidal depression. I was regularly seeing therapists and was popping antidepressants and anxiety meds like candy. Then, when I couldn't stand being inside my own skin anymore, I went back on the birth control, hoping that it would even out my hormones again. It worked. My skin cleared up in under 2 months and I was back to myself. Then at about age 27, I decided to try coming off the birth control again and in doing so, I completely relapsed. Back to the drugs. Finally, when I turned 30, I decided that, no matter the cost, I was no longer going to put anything synthetic into my body. I paid the price. Over the past year, I broke out worse than ever. This time affecting not only my chin, but my entire face. I now have scars on my cheeks and forehead. I had gained 20 pounds quickly. That might not seem like a lot, but when you're a 5'4" girl with a small frame, it changes your body significantly. This made me want to work out more, but the onset of fatigue I had made it quite a struggle to do anything.
Then, upon chance (and needing money), I volunteered as a control group patient for a medical study which included a trans vaginal ultrasound. Get paid to have someone look at my ladybits from inside? Sign me up! The endocrinologist heading the study explained to me that I had PCOS. I went home and did some research and blimey if everything didn't start making sense. So, I knew where I was, what did I do to change my predicament? Nothing of course. I said to myself, "Self, I'm vegan, I don't eat fast food or drink soda or eat lot's of cupcakes. I'm relatively active. This will all just blow over eventually." My self was a fool to think I didn't need to do more work. My digestive system is now compromised and I can't eat like I used to. The smallest bit of gluten, fat or sugar can cause me to bloat excessively. It's been over a year now and my symptoms are only getting worse and more complicated. So it's time to really overhaul my lifestyle.
I've decided to go back to a low fat raw vegan (LFRV) and very active lifestyle. I toyed with being LFRV for a while when I met Jeremy (my beau). He was so healthy and seemed to really thrive on this diet. And to be honest, when I stuck to it, I felt better than I ever have. But like with any addiction, giving up cooked food is hard. And the cravings are a challenge. Especially in a culture (like most) where sharing in food is a primary source of socialization. But it's doable, and my will to regain my body, my mind and my happiness is stronger than ever. I am determined to do this and it's my goal to never be dependent on any hormonal drugs again. Medications can mask & alleviate symptoms, but the only way to truly heal is from within.
So, I start today. I plan on doing this in 3 month increments. If after 3 months, I'm not seeing some results, I'll tweak my plan. But for now, I'm ditching the cooked food, I'm upping the workout plan and I'm making time for gratitude, meditation and reflection every day. In addition, I'm sticking to this blogging thing. I'm going to make sure I post at least something once a week. I'll share my day to day regime, before and (hopefully) after photos and general updates about my life and where I'm at. If that's something you think you'd like to read or participate in, then please add this blog to your RSS feed and feel free to interact with me. If you don't support my choices, that's fine. You don't have to follow me. Just don't spread hate in this sacred space.
Above all, share the positivity. I can use all the good energy I can get. And I wish to reciprocate the same to everyone who's taken the time to read my first blog. Love and food can heal. And I'm gonna prove it. :)
Blessings,
- Vicky
And what better resolution can one make, than to take better care of one's self? None. If we want to be happy and live a full and vibrant life, we need to put our health first. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
One of my resolutions was to get back into journaling. The other was to take back the control of my body after a physical ailment. It only seemed natural to combine the two and blog about my process. By making my story public, I can not only receive some of the support and encouragement that I need, but perhaps I can inspire others.
My story is very personal and it's not easy to talk about. I haven't told many people about it for that reason. But I'm ready to lay it all on the table for the sake of bettering myself, and holding myself accountable to change.
Over the past year, I discovered (quite by chance) that I suffer from something called Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS. It's not all that rare. In fact it affects about 10% of all women. I just get to be one of the lucky ones.
It's an endocrine disorder which causes a hormonal imbalance. Many women can live with it and never know. I certainly fell into that category. It's worth researching, but the long and short of it, is that it messes with your body. It can cause infertility, lead to heart disease and plague you with a gambit of symptoms. Some of the lovely ones which I have been privy to include, weight gain, chronic cystic acne, fatigue, mental fog and insulin resistance. Other women also experience excessive hair growth or loss.
I never knew that I had PCOS because I was on birth control for many years. From the ages of 18 to 25, I never lapsed in taking my hormone altering drugs. At 25, when I first stopped, I broke out very badly. It started off innocently enough. I had the occasional pimple, but after about 3 months, I developed huge, painful cysts on my chin. At one point I counted over 40 on my chin alone. I sought the help of doctors and dermatologists. I went on every cream and antibiotic they could feed me. Nothing helped. I got to the point where I didn't want to leave the house. I felt like a freak and I was in constant pain. After about 6 months, I lapsed into a deep and suicidal depression. I was regularly seeing therapists and was popping antidepressants and anxiety meds like candy. Then, when I couldn't stand being inside my own skin anymore, I went back on the birth control, hoping that it would even out my hormones again. It worked. My skin cleared up in under 2 months and I was back to myself. Then at about age 27, I decided to try coming off the birth control again and in doing so, I completely relapsed. Back to the drugs. Finally, when I turned 30, I decided that, no matter the cost, I was no longer going to put anything synthetic into my body. I paid the price. Over the past year, I broke out worse than ever. This time affecting not only my chin, but my entire face. I now have scars on my cheeks and forehead. I had gained 20 pounds quickly. That might not seem like a lot, but when you're a 5'4" girl with a small frame, it changes your body significantly. This made me want to work out more, but the onset of fatigue I had made it quite a struggle to do anything.
Then, upon chance (and needing money), I volunteered as a control group patient for a medical study which included a trans vaginal ultrasound. Get paid to have someone look at my ladybits from inside? Sign me up! The endocrinologist heading the study explained to me that I had PCOS. I went home and did some research and blimey if everything didn't start making sense. So, I knew where I was, what did I do to change my predicament? Nothing of course. I said to myself, "Self, I'm vegan, I don't eat fast food or drink soda or eat lot's of cupcakes. I'm relatively active. This will all just blow over eventually." My self was a fool to think I didn't need to do more work. My digestive system is now compromised and I can't eat like I used to. The smallest bit of gluten, fat or sugar can cause me to bloat excessively. It's been over a year now and my symptoms are only getting worse and more complicated. So it's time to really overhaul my lifestyle.
I've decided to go back to a low fat raw vegan (LFRV) and very active lifestyle. I toyed with being LFRV for a while when I met Jeremy (my beau). He was so healthy and seemed to really thrive on this diet. And to be honest, when I stuck to it, I felt better than I ever have. But like with any addiction, giving up cooked food is hard. And the cravings are a challenge. Especially in a culture (like most) where sharing in food is a primary source of socialization. But it's doable, and my will to regain my body, my mind and my happiness is stronger than ever. I am determined to do this and it's my goal to never be dependent on any hormonal drugs again. Medications can mask & alleviate symptoms, but the only way to truly heal is from within.
So, I start today. I plan on doing this in 3 month increments. If after 3 months, I'm not seeing some results, I'll tweak my plan. But for now, I'm ditching the cooked food, I'm upping the workout plan and I'm making time for gratitude, meditation and reflection every day. In addition, I'm sticking to this blogging thing. I'm going to make sure I post at least something once a week. I'll share my day to day regime, before and (hopefully) after photos and general updates about my life and where I'm at. If that's something you think you'd like to read or participate in, then please add this blog to your RSS feed and feel free to interact with me. If you don't support my choices, that's fine. You don't have to follow me. Just don't spread hate in this sacred space.
Above all, share the positivity. I can use all the good energy I can get. And I wish to reciprocate the same to everyone who's taken the time to read my first blog. Love and food can heal. And I'm gonna prove it. :)
Blessings,
- Vicky