As I sit on the couch (on Mother's Day) and work through my pre-labor symptoms, I wonder about what type of mother I'll be.
With motherhood approaching so soon, it's easy to be overwhelmed with all the feels. Can I do this? Will I be a good Mom? Will I fail? Is it too late to change my mind??? It's all so exciting, surreal, nerve wracking & intense.
I also miss my mother, today especially. She wasn't particularly maternal and there were plenty of things she could have done differently in raising me, but she was mine. In spite of our tumultuous relationship through the years, we loved each other unconditionally. And as much as there were times I really wished I had a different Mom, I know now that I wouldn't have traded her for anything. She learned as she went. We grew together. Sometimes she was my parent, and when depression got the best of her, sometimes I was hers. I became strong and independent because I had to be. I also learned what type of woman I didn't want to be.
For much of my adult life, I was convinced that I'd never have children of my own. I didn't want to become my mother and I certainly didn't want to raise children the way I was raised. I was terrified of repeating my mother's mistakes. And now, here I am, blessed with the child inside of me. For the past 9 months, I've grappled with my fears and found peace in pregnancy. The bond I share with my unborn daughter gives me courage. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt that I am going to be a loving, fierce & protective mother. I'm going to give my daughter everything she needs. And I'm going to do it all because I've learned so much from my mom. She loved me the best way she knew how and I can take it from here.
In short, I can't wait to meet Isabella, to hold her in my arms and cover her in kisses. I have so much love stored up for her & she's about to fill a void in my heart that I never knew I had until now. I hope I see myself within her but, I also hope I see my mother there too. This child is strength & beauty & love in human form and we're going to help each other be amazing.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. Thank you for doing your best and helping your children grow. It may not be easy, but it's worth it. And, if you're not a parent, just make sure you take time to give thanks to the ones you've got. Whether they seemed perfect or not, they created you. And you are here, now, in all your glory. And that is everything.
With motherhood approaching so soon, it's easy to be overwhelmed with all the feels. Can I do this? Will I be a good Mom? Will I fail? Is it too late to change my mind??? It's all so exciting, surreal, nerve wracking & intense.
I also miss my mother, today especially. She wasn't particularly maternal and there were plenty of things she could have done differently in raising me, but she was mine. In spite of our tumultuous relationship through the years, we loved each other unconditionally. And as much as there were times I really wished I had a different Mom, I know now that I wouldn't have traded her for anything. She learned as she went. We grew together. Sometimes she was my parent, and when depression got the best of her, sometimes I was hers. I became strong and independent because I had to be. I also learned what type of woman I didn't want to be.
For much of my adult life, I was convinced that I'd never have children of my own. I didn't want to become my mother and I certainly didn't want to raise children the way I was raised. I was terrified of repeating my mother's mistakes. And now, here I am, blessed with the child inside of me. For the past 9 months, I've grappled with my fears and found peace in pregnancy. The bond I share with my unborn daughter gives me courage. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt that I am going to be a loving, fierce & protective mother. I'm going to give my daughter everything she needs. And I'm going to do it all because I've learned so much from my mom. She loved me the best way she knew how and I can take it from here.
In short, I can't wait to meet Isabella, to hold her in my arms and cover her in kisses. I have so much love stored up for her & she's about to fill a void in my heart that I never knew I had until now. I hope I see myself within her but, I also hope I see my mother there too. This child is strength & beauty & love in human form and we're going to help each other be amazing.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. Thank you for doing your best and helping your children grow. It may not be easy, but it's worth it. And, if you're not a parent, just make sure you take time to give thanks to the ones you've got. Whether they seemed perfect or not, they created you. And you are here, now, in all your glory. And that is everything.
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